After all of this–the legs still haven’t given out yet. Many miles I run, which shortens after so many years. I remember somewhat clearing; about 20 years ago I ran a race in high school that I will never forget.
I gave up.
It was a quiet surrender. I was in the middle of the 3rd lap and I felt something slipping, nothing physical just a elapse in mental toughness. I just quit, flat-out fell to the ground like I was in pain. Holding my calf muscle; I can’t remember which one but the coaches were on their way to me and then I thought quickly–
“What the fuck am I doing?!”
I sprung up and ran back onto the track; running my hardest to the end of the race. I finish in dead last and walked off defeated.
Never again will I feel such a feeling was my quiet thoughts. I spoke softy in my mind in fear someone would had heard me. I was a coward at that time and again vowed, “Never again!”
That time I spoke that out loud in which my friend heard me. He didn’t say anything but knew what I meant and gave me a look. Nothing needed to be said; it was always spoken already.
That was my junior year in high school; a year after being all-state the previous year and I held on to my vowed. I made all state again that year and the year after. Finishing as the top 13th runner in the state of Missouri that year in the 1600 Meter run.
I can say one thing at least I didn’t quit.
I didn’t quit on myself.
It is a funny thing to remember such an event so long ago. 24 years to be exact; a moment in time that I would never forget–
Parkway North High School Invitational
St. Louis, MO
April of 1992
Every moment is defined by an action or non-action, the thin-line of a competitor or a chicken.
I was just a little of both..